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The CH Times
Brace yourselves everyone, for coming is a very long CH Times of some of the best articles we have EVER had. It is a great thing, and with what I am about to note, it really makes me glad. Because of late, CH just has not been doing it for me. Constantly having to deal with problems on and off site has really gotten to me. I generally tend to end up doing something completely different then moderating because I just cannot take all the chaos and the constant fight that it seems everyone has after I moderate something. And that is just the beginning! With that all in mind I think it may be time to leave CH for myself, and not for a week like the Personal Announcements suggest.
Back when I joined I remember many things being great! Many people welcomed me (I had my own topic, which back then was rare) and I was quickly integrated through debating and general discussion. In fact, for a long time Debates was my favorite forum. It was lively, yes, and was at times full of anger and not really good for debating. However, the people who consistently did it loved debating and could make what one might consider boring or pointless topics worth something. I still remember @discotheque debating that the earth was flat and @slope123 taking virtually every least popular opinion just for the sake of debate. Somewhere we lost that, now debates generally stagnate, and the ones that do not tend to be filled with spam in the forms of "I agree" or posts without any form of reasoning. Other forums have lost some value as well, but those are most prominent.
Finally I will note that on top of all that I really should be starting to get ready for college and life as a whole. I am already very busy, and CH really takes time to do as a Moderator. Hours upon hours each day I have been on here and of late I just have not had that time. I get on yes, but not as much as I used to. But then again, maybe that goes back to how so many of my friends of old are now gone. In my first year some of my best friends are people that these days, have never been heard of. The truth is simple, I just do not feel the same coming on here, and as such feel it may be time to go.
I am sorry, but for my sake, please enjoy this issue.
God bless you all!
Matthew Hogan
(Also, the people taking over the CH Times for me will be announced soon)
 
With that I would say it is time to do some more cheerful CH news, would you not say?
 
This past week have had two new editions to the Catholic Harbor staff. @Leprechaun12 and @pianoplayingpony have become our newest ambassadors! Congratulations to these two!
Besides the two new ambassadors, @SmartKitty16 was promoted from ambassador to moderator. Congratulations @SmartKitty16!
Trending in the Debates forum is currently a topic titled "Cancellation of Mass due to COVID-19". As for the sub topic Resolution Debates, a topic currently high on the list is "Resloved: The Harry Potter Franchise is Immoral" .
Statistics for Catholic Harbor are as follows. The current total topics count is 19,276 as of March 31, 2020. Current total post count is 1,273,399 as of the same date. Catholic Harbor has had 15 new members in the month of March with the newest member being @Gianna.w.
And now for some recent Catholic Harbor Memes!

 

 
Congratulations to @SmartKitty16 on being appointed a Moderator! @DaughterofMary_19 had an interview with her upon her appointment! Read it here:
 
To begin, how did you first find out about CH? I remember my mom saying Seton had an online community before she enrolled me. I forgot about it though, until I saw the ad on Seton Online. My mom said I could join whenever I wanted,  but I didn't want to until I could get used to my new school work. I asked to be enrolled in January,  a time where I wasn't making friends at church. I thought this could be an opportunity to meet people who had something in common with me, that being homeschooling. 
 
We're very glad you decided to join! (: Were you very surprised when Mr. Warren asked if you'd like to be a mod? Yes and no. I've wanted to be a mod for a while, but didn't know if I was doing well enough. But at the same time I thought he wouldn't ask until much later. 
What's your favorite part so far about being a mod? The fact that I can continue helping the Harbor. 
Is there anything that you dislike about it? Editing posts, to a point. But hey someone has to do it, yknow? 
As a mod, what message would you like to give to the other members, who are perhaps a bit leery of the mods for enforcing the rules? As @Elements says, "Think before you post." Check the guidelines and image guidelines if you are unsure if something is allowed or not, and if you are still hesitant about posting something, message one of us before doing so. 
One last question, this one something I ask out of personal curiosity, lol. How in the world did you manage to get such a high post count?? XD When I first joined, I followed almost everyone active, because this was my first experience with a type of online forum. That notified me of almost everyone's posts which I went to and commented on. Nowadays I regret it. I also used the search bar to search for things I liked, and commented on the topics that showed. And finally, I asked lots of questions on AMAs. That's probably the biggest reason I have so much. I also roleplayed some, but nowadays that isn't allowed. 
Awesome! Thank you so much for taking the time to answer these for me, Natalie! I hope you have a great rest of your day! (:
 

 
@Halfling Sized Ranger continues her epic story, see it here!
 
 
The Story Of A Guardian Angel
Chapter 1
You can.  Anyway, here's Chapter 1.  I just started Chapter 2, so I'm sure it'll be done for the following issue.
Chapter 1:
                “Congratulations, George,” my friend, Joseph, shouted to me over the commotion of celebrating Angels.  He came over to me and gave me a solid, hearty slap on the back.  I could tell it was a good one because it really stung.  “I still can’t believe you graduated from GAU!  That’s totally amazing.”
                “Thank you, Joseph,” I said grinning broadly, “I can’t believe it either.  I have to congratulate you in graduating too.  I’m not the only one who graduated.”
                We both had just graduated from GAU and everyone was celebrating.  It was a big deal when Guardian Angels graduated.  We had studied hard and faithfully took all the tests.  The professors made sure we were prepared to become Guardian Angels.  After four years of blood, sweat, and tears…oh, wait, that expression is inaccurate.  After four years of studying and supporting each other, Joseph and I were able to graduate.  Of course, we weren’t the only ones.  Two hundred other Guardian Angels graduated were in our graduation class.
                Some of the other Angels came up to us and personally congratulated us.  We thanked them and went to track down some of our other friends.  We found three of them in a corner of the auditorium.  They seemed to be in earnest conversation, but turned their attention on us when we approached.  We exchanged formalities and the conversation continued.  “We had just decided to go looking for you both,” said one of them, named Paul, “but, it looks like you found us.”
                “Finding each other either way would have most likely worked,” said Andrew.
                “Do you have any ideas what you’re going to do in the meantime?” I asked.  I asked because some newly graduated Guardian Angels had to wait for a bit before being assigned to someone.
                “I think I’m just going to do what most Guardian Angels do,” said Thomas, “I’m just going to visit the retired Guardian Angels at the retirement home and get advice for them.”
                “Ya know, I think Thomas spoke for all of us,” said Paul, “Am I right?”
                Andrew, Joseph, and I nodded in agreement.  Visiting the retired Guardian Angels was such a common idea that it was beginning to sound cliché.  However, the older Angels loved being visited and they’re always ready to give advice.  That’s because they were Guardian Angels for hundreds of years and have seen all sorts of situations.  Yes, once a Guardian Angel’s assignment dies, they are assigned to another person on Earth.  They can be Guardian Angels for as long as they want too.
                After the celebration, the dinner, and a dance, my friends and I returned our graduation gowns and hats to the GAU office.  The administrator congratulated us while she took them and put them away.  At this point, the word ‘congratulations’ or any form of congratulations was annoying me.  I’m sure everyone who said that meant well, but, now I was wishing that they would stop.  My friends and I politely thanked her and left.  We left GAU and went straight back to our apartments.  We had nothing else special planned and we were a bit tired from the graduation.
                One of the bad things about our apartments was that they weren’t in the same building.  You see, there were several apartment buildings in Heaven.  When I say several, I mean a ton.  Yeah, there are many different kinds of Angels in Heaven.  So, several apartment buildings had to be built.  One of the best things about our apartment buildings, though, is that they are in close proximity of each other.  That pretty much meant we got to see each other a lot and we often invited each other to our respective apartments.
I slept very soundly that night.  I tend to sleep like a log some nights and there are times that I sleep very lightly.  When I’m soundly sleeping, you’re going to have to use almost every single last trick in the book to wake me up.  When I woke up the next morning, I still couldn’t believe I had graduated.  I looked around my room and saw all the pictures and items I had from GAU.  I had several pictures of myself and my friends having fun.  There were also some pictures I took with my professors.  A pennant from GAU hung over the head of my bed.  A football with my teammates’ names and coaches’ names on it sat on my desk.  Yes, I played football and, yes, it’s rather difficult to play with wings.  Someone was always getting slapped in the face with a wing or getting a mouth full of feathers.
                There were also a few trophies from football tournaments we played in.  One was from defeating Archangel Tech in the championship game the first year I was at GAU.  Another was coming in third place in another tournament.  We lost to Cherubim College in that game.  I had also saved programs from the plays I was in.  Yeah, I was in theater too.  My favorite play that we performed was the Creation story.  We had a lot of trouble figuring out who was going to play He with the Unmentionable Name.  So, we decided to make a snake out of cardboard.  Yes, it was very cheesy looking, but what were we supposed to do?
                I’m going off on tangents?  Oh, I’m very sorry.  I’ll continue.  Anyway, I got out of bed and got ready for the day.  I made sure the feathers on my wings were clean and neat.  I applied some gel to my hair and combed it to my liking.  When I was all set, I decided to go check out the Guardian Angel headquarters.  If I’m going to work as a Guardian Angel, I have to get to know my way around the headquarters.  As I was flying over, Joseph joined me.  “Where are you off to so early in the morning?” he asked, “Is it alright if I join you?”
                “I’m going to check out the Guardian Angel headquarters,” I said, “You can definitely join me.  Where are Paul, Thomas, and Andrew?  Don’t they want to come with us?”
                “They might be at the headquarters already.  I stopped by their apartments, but they weren’t there.  I figured they went to the headquarters and decided to go over there to check it out as well.  Then, I ran into you and we happen to be going to the same place.”
                “Okay, this is sort of conven…where’s the headquarters again?”  I stopped flying and landed a fluffy, white cloud.  Joseph stopped as well and looked just as confused.
                “I know we went there a few weeks before graduation,” he said, “We had a tour of the place.  I guess I was so busy trying to wrap up for graduation that I had forgotten the way.  Here, we’ll ask someone for help.  Oh…George, look!”
                I looked in the direction Joseph was looking and saw St. Michael the Archangel.  His face was determined, strong, and broad.  His blue eyes were bold and courageous.  He wore shining silver armor that clearly reflected the sun and his wings were the whitest I had ever seen.  They looked so perfect and so white that mine looked disheveled and had a cream color when compared to his.  A sword was in a scabbard at his side, ready for action.  His chocolate brown hair fell a tiny bit past his ears.  However, while he looked like a fierce, brave warrior, he also looked like a gentle, kind, approachable friend.  I don’t know if you met anyone who looked one way and looked like its polar opposite at the same time, but that’s what St. Michael looked like.  He was a celebrity among all the Angels.  It didn’t matter what kind of Angel you were.  You just knew him.  He had many admirers because of what he did when He with Unmentionable Name rebelled against the Eternal King.
                Gathering up the courage to talk to him, I walked towards him.  St. Michael saw me drawing near with Joseph in tow.  He stopped and greeted us.  “Good morning,” he said, “You two graduated yesterday from GAU, didn’t you?”
                “Um, yeah,” I said, “How did you know?”
                “News travels fast in Heaven.  Plus, you’re wearing the robes that Guardian Angels always wear.”  He pointed to the robes I was wearing.
                Looking at myself and Joseph, I saw we were wearing the same snow white robes.  The hems of the robes, the ends of the sleeves, and the neckline were golden.  “Yeah, I suppose that’s obvious,” I said, “Anyway, I had a question to ask you.  Well, both my friend and I have a question to ask you.”
                “You want my autograph?”  One of St. Michael’s eyebrows raised and the other lowered.  He autographed so many items that he had lost count.
                “Nooooooo, but we’d appreciate an autograph.”  I looked half excited, half bummed.
                “I suppose you don’t have anything on you for me to autograph?” asked St. Michael.
                “We don’t,” said Joseph, “but my friend and I can quickly get our autograph books and come back.  Then, you can write…”
                St. Michael raised his hand to stop Joseph.  “I got a better idea,” he said, “I’m a bit busy right now, but I can meet you somewhere at three.  There, we can meet, talk, and I can give you my autograph.  Where do you want to meet up?”
                “What options are there?”
                “We can go to Angela’s bakery and get some angels food cake.  Maybe coffee will suit you better?  Or we can do something else, if you’d like.”
                We talked for a bit and decided to meet at a coffee shop.  St. Michael was about to leave when I stopped him.  “St. Michael, sir,” I said, “That wasn’t our real question, though.  What we want to know is: could you please show us the way to the Guardian Angel headquarters?”
 
CC from anyone is appreciated.
 
 

 
 
 
@Mr. Rock donated a fun fact for the Times!
 
What are the origins of April Fool's day?
Up until 1564 the French celebrated New Year"s between March 25 and April 1, but with the introduction of the new Gregorian calendar the festival was moved to January 1. Those who resisted became the victims of pranks including invitations to nonexistent New Year's parties on April 1. Soon the April 1 celebration of nonoccasion  became an annual festival of hoaxes.
(Taken from Doug Lennox's The Little Book of Answers)
 
@Philip “Flip” Fender brings a rather surprising revelation:
 
 
Philip A. “Flip” Fender
Report on Nastron’s Complex
Ever since the atom was discovered to be fissile, scientists have theorized about how to
harness the immense energy of such a process. With the discovery of radioactive isotopes during
the Manhattan Project, the myth of using such a process to create massive amounts of energy has
been possible.
Ever since September 15, 2019, I, Philip A. “Flip” Fender, have been conducting research
on how to harvest more energy from a fission process than ever before. On January 22, 2020, my
research bore process: I discovered the first perpendicularity of what I call Nastron’s Complex.
The first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex can be achieved by subjecting Helium-
8—a helium isotope with two electrons, two protons, and four neutrons—to mass amounts of
both gamma and neutron radiation. When subjected to enough radiation of this kind, the
electrons of a Helium-8 atom are forced out of their orbit, and the atom quite literally explodes
into random neutrons, protons, and electrons. The resulting nuclear explosion is so powerful that
every kind of atom within the near vicinity of “Ground Zero” undergoes nuclear fission of the
same manner, thus creating a runaway chain reaction. The heat generated from such an
explosion can, and most likely will, be in excess of 1,000,000OC, much greater than that of any
atomic bomb ever made. This heat is enough to instantly vaporize any and all substances, if the
chain reaction does not destroy the consistent atoms first.
Using Helium-8 and the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex, an atomic bomb
can theoretically be made that can incinerate the whole planet, in as little as 3 seconds. The only
problem, however, lies in the radiation.
As mentioned above, a healthy mix of at most 42.364% gamma radiation and at least
57.636% neutron radiation is required to set off the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex.
The only known source of such radiation comes from a hypercritical mass of Uranium-235. In
order to achieve this level of radiation, enough Uranium-235 must be accumulated in a certain
area so that the mass becomes hypercritical, such as used to make the atomic explosion that
wiped out Hiroshima in August of 1945. The only problem with this is that the amount of
Uranium-235 required to set off the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex for any amount
of Helium-8 is easily enough to set off a nuclear explosion, like that of Hiroshima; however, in
order to set off this phenomenon, there cannot be a nuclear explosion.
Thus, in order to set off the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex, we must
somehow find a way to attain a hypercritical mass of Uranium-235 without an ensuing atomic
explosion.
At this point in time, we have no idea how to do such a thing. If this were figured out,
however, we could develop an atomic weapon capable of wiping out all life on earth.
Let me exemplify how powerful this could be. Suppose that we have a one-gallon jug of
nothing but Helium-8, packed in at one atmosphere of pressure. Should we expose this Helium-
8 to the required radiation, just the fireball from the ensuing nuclear explosion would be
sufficient to completely wipe out the entirety of Russia. This is obviously nothing to be trifled
with.
While this is a serious matter, I must note that it is technically impossible to set off the
first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex. Should we find out how to supply the necessary
radiation, then it would be possible, but we have to somehow change the laws of atomic physics
to do so.
This being said, I must note that I have had a well-known scientist (at least in my section
of the world) run the math: my math is correct.
So, what can we learn from the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex?
There are three points that come to mind: Helium-8, while being extremely rare, has the
potential for something unprecedented; and with the correct circumstances, we can kill ourselves
without realizing it. Most importantly, I must note that a kid who was 16 years old at the time
came up with the complete nonsense story that is the first perpendicularity of Nastron’s Complex
in under five minutes, off the top of his head, to win a dare against an incredibly smart friend.
Let that sink in for a bit.
Pax, God Bless, and the best of wishes that Helium-8 doesn’t kill us all this April 1,
Philip A. “Flip” Fender
 
 
Thank you everyone for reading, I hope you all enjoyed the latest CH Times!
God bless!
Matthew